Letting Go
by RedFox1
Summary: its mostly taiora. it has very much to do with that whole sorato thing that is supposedly happening and making me sad. so yeah i haven't written in a while so if you will, just review this please!


DISCLAIMER: I don't own digimon. if i did, there would be less couple arguments, but anyhow.  
  
  
this is basically my little view/interpretaion of the whole Sorato thing thats going around. its just what i wrote, also if i DID own Digimon, this would be true.   
  
hmm that appears to be it if you liked this review it please, i need feedback because i don't get much.   
  
also if you have fic requests send it to: lil_sora_angel@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
LETTING GO  
  
  
  
  
  
Even though he was holding her, even though she was smiling on the outside, he knew. That smile may as well have been drawn on her face because it was always there, but always hollow.   
  
"Sora what's wrong?" he asked her kindly, but he only got that same smile. "Nothing Matt, why?" she answered him, but leaving him more hurt at the same time. "Oh, no reason. You just don't look happy." He frowned as she shifted in his arms. Her smile seemed to fade slightly as if he was right. "Why would I not be happy? I'm with you aren't I?" she said with an even bigger smile this time, as if trying to make up for letting it fade a second ago. Yamato looked away. He knew it. He knew it now for sure. "Well, that's why you're unhappy Sora. Because you're with me, not him." He frowned loosening his hold on the girl he thought once loved him.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Yeah, fine whatever Kari!" called a tall dark haired boy from his place on his bed, as he heard the front door slam shut and the two younger teens laugh their way into the house. He had been this way for what seemed like weeks now all because of one thing, or one person. It was her, she was his best friend of many years. His very first memories had been ones of them together, and that's how he thought, or at least hoped, it would be. Them together, but now he knew he couldn't have it that way and it was him that told her to go. He recalled that day like it was fresh in his mind.  
  
  
  
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Running down the street, he finally saw her and called out her name. "Sora!! Hey!" he shouted as he finally skidded to a halt beside her. "Oh hey Tai." She smiled. This was what made him love her, this was her true smile. "What're you doing HERE?" he asked as if he were almost shocked to see her at his friend's apartment. "Oh... well, I was gonna... gonna." She blushed, he loved it when she blushed, he loved her all the time, but even more now. Then it hit him, she was at HIS place. The rock star himself, Yamato Ishida. The look on her face, the gaze in her eyes spoke more than any words to him. He knew that if she told him through words it would break him even more.  
  
"You wanna tell him, huh." He asked, knowing he was right, but praying to the heavens that he was dead wrong. "Well, yeah, but I'm scared Tai." She said to him, as she knew that she could always count on him to reassure her. "Listen to me Sora. Just look inside yourself. Ask if this is what you really want. Just follow your heart." He smiled kindly but sadly at the same time. She looked at him and returned the smile, it made him weak and want to fall to the ground. She was stunning. "He won't even think of rejecting you Sora. No one can do that to someone as beautiful and perfect as you are..." he trailed off realizing what he had just said. She realized it as well, but Tai managed to regain himself and hoped that the blush would leave his face soon. "Besides. If he even dreams of hurting you, I'll beat him up real good!" he laughed nervously. "Thanks Taichi. I knew I could trust you, as always." She said as she gave him a warm hug. He smiled back, but only because this is what made her happy, and her smile is what he fell in love with. "That's right. Now go in there! Heh! I should have gotten the crest of Reliability." He joked, but it took more courage to let her go than anyone could ever have. "Aren't you coming up?" she asked him. "Uhh, no, no. I was just passing by on my way to the... store." He answered quickly, for he knew that he couldn't go up there with her and face what might happen. "Good luck, not that you'll need it!" he winked. "Thanks, oh, and bye Taichi." She smiled. "Bye lover!" she kidded as she punched him playfully in the arm and sent him running off down the street laughing like a maniac. "Stupid Tai." She muttered under her breath as she watched him until he was completely out of sight.  
  
He kept running, if he stopped moving he thought he'd go insane. He had to laugh, or else he would break down and cry in front of everyone and anyone. Then he stopped. He remembered that Matt had been expecting him. "Shoot! Oh I know." He said as he ran to a pay phone, stuffed in a quarter and dialled Yamato's number.   
  
"Hello, Ishida residence?" came the cool voice he had started to resent. "Oh, hey Matt, its me Tai. I uh can't come over, I'm not feeling well, I feel dead actually." He told his friend, though it wasn't as far from the truth as Matt thought.  
"Oh, that's too bad, I had this really cool movie that Izzy lent me." He said as a knock on the door could be heard in the background.  
"Well, sorry about that." Tai said trying to sound like it was just an effort to speak, though it really was. If he spoke he might cry.  
"Listen pal, you get better okay? You really sound terrible! Anyway Sora's at the door now, I'll let you rest." Spoke the unsuspecting Matt to his best friend. "Yeah, don't tell her about me being sick and all." He told Matt, so that Sora wouldn't suspect anything.  
"Oh, alright then, if you need chicken soup I make the best soup around!" laughed Matt, then in an attempt at an old woman's voice Tai spoke. "No sonny, that'd be the SECOND best soup around." Matt laughed. "Get better man, you're sounding an awful lot like my grandma. I'll see you later." He smiled. "Yeah, later." Tai said slamming down the phone and continuing his walk around the city.  
  
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There was a soft knocking at his bedroom door. "What." He said halfheartedly. "Um, can I come in? Kari sent me." Said the soft but deep voice on the other side. "I don't care." Tai answered as the door opened revealing the frame of Matt's own brother, T.K.   
  
"Um, Kari told me to see if you wanted anything. I'll get it for you?" smiled T.K. He was Kari's best friend, since the first time they went into the digital world. He was a kind hearted boy, it seemed like he was so young and innocent even though he had grown considerably over the years. Tai couldn't help but smile at the younger boy. "No, that's fine T.K, go back out there." Tai chuckled. "Okay, just call if you need anything okay?" he instructed. "I will. Oh and T.K?" "Yeah?" he smiled. "Don't pretend Kari sent you in here." Tai smiled. "Okay." He giggled as he hurried back to Kari. Everyone had always suspected that there was more between the two younger kids, but if there was anything it was hidden very well.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Matt, how could you say something like that?" Sora asked, with a hurt look on her face. "I can only say it because its true Sora." He said, realizing that he was nearly in tears. He truly did love this girl with all his heart. He'd been there as a friend, and hoped for more, but he knew he could never have more than friendship with her.   
  
Even when he was with her he could never be happy, when she said she loved him he could never believe it was true. He tried to outsmart himself, by telling himself it was all in his head, but it was no use. He loved her and she pretended to love him. That's the way it would always be.  
  
Inside Sora knew that Matt was right. She thought she loved him, but it was a lie to herself. She was just denying the fact that the one she loved, truly loved, could never be hers. So she pretended and convinced herself that she actually was in love with Matt, not even think that he could see, not thinking that he would be hurt. She began to cry.  
  
"God Matt! Why did I do this?" she cried into his shoulder. He held her, but only as a friend because that's all they ever were. "Shhh, its okay Sora. Don't be upset. You only did it to run from him. So you didn't lose what you have with Tai. I know your friendship with him means the world to you and that's why you didn't want to love him.... Its because you don't want to lose him." Matt said as tears were forming in his crystalline eyes. "How did you...." She looked up into his liquid eyes in shock. It was like he knew all along. "I knew Sora, I knew. The way you act around him, the way you act around eachother. You just look different when you're with him. You look... just utterly happy and as much as I tried, I could never do that for you. I would do anything, but I know that I'm not the one who has your heart, even though you'll probably always have mine." He said as a tear made its way down his cheek.  
  
'Oh god, he really loves me? He really does? I'm hurting him. If I leave him it'll hurt him.' She thought to herself frantically.  
  
"Matt I'm so sorry, I can't even begin..." she was cut off. "Don't. You're already forgiven, I couldn't even blame you for doing this to me." He smiled through his tears. "But..." "No, it hurt even more back then. To know I had you, but you belonged to someone else, it hurt then for me to pretend you loved me back. If you leave now I'll be happier, just knowing that you're gonna be happy." He said as he helped her up from his couch. "Matt... thank you." Was all she could manage to say, there was nothing else that could be said to a man whose heart has just been ripped to shreds. "That's what friends are for." He said almost bitterly, regarding that word. It was what he would always be, just a friend. "Thank you Matt, I'm sorry, but thank you so much." She continued. "Don't thank me, you don't need to. Just do one thing." She nodded for him to continue. "Let me talk to him. I know that he probably hates me right now." He finished. "He probably hates ME right now." She sobbed lightly. Matt seemed to laugh, she looked at him smiling. "He could never hate you Sora. Just like I can't, just like anyone can't." he said as he lightly caressed her cheek. "Now, give me an hour to apologize to him and then go to him." He instructed as he helped her put her coat on. She sniffed lightly, then giggled. "An hour?" she asked him. "Well yeah. You may have known Tai longer than I have, but the difference is he'll forgive you in a second, with me... it might take some convincing." He smiled as he opened the door for her to leave. "I see, well, bye Matt and thank you again." She smiled as she kissed lightly on the cheek causing him to blush. "Bye Sora, take care." He said as he waved to her and closed the door behind him.  
  
He fell to the floor in tears. It hurt to let her go, but he also felt relieved that her heart would go where it would be truly happy. He sat there leaning against the door for over half an hour, it was true he would need an hour, but only a few minutes of it would be used on Tai. The rest would be for him to cry, and try to gather the pieces of his shattered heart.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sora kept walking. She was relieved that she would no longer have to go on, hurting Tai, 'but what about Matt?   
He seemed to understand everything, and he was only mad at himself for letting it drag on. All he wanted was a chance to be happy, even it he thought he could pretend he was.' She thought as she slowly walked through the city, taking the scenic route to Tai's apartment.  
  
  
  
  
Matt picked up his phone and sulked over to his bedroom while it rang. "Yeah." Said a usually upbeat voice. "Tai? Its Matt." He said hoping that he could get to the point of the phone call. "Oh. Hi Matt." Tai said almost bitterly. "Please Tai. Listen to me. This is something that you'd want to hear, especially from me." He said. Tai thought he could hear some vague emotion in his voice. "What's wrong?" he asked becoming concerned. "Nothing, its nothing..." a short pause. "Will you just listen while I can still talk?" asked the voice on the other end. "Yeah, sure." Agreed Tai as he prepared himself for anything his friend could say.  
  
"I was stupid Tai. I let myself think that it was real, that I could be happy... when all I was really doing... was making three people unhappy." He stopped, Tai was slightly confused, but beginning to understand that this had something to do with Sora.  
  
"I love her, or I loved her Tai. God she was... she was everything, but nothing... because I couldn't have her... someone already has her Tai. I just let it drag on hoping that I could actually believe the lie I was telling myself. 'She loves you Matt, she does' I would tell myself, but I knew it was all a lie..." another pause. "All I wanted was to be loved... to happy..." he cried openly now. "...but I couldn't stand to look at her, pretending she was happy with me... I knew right away that she didn't feel the same... god I knew it and I hurt us all." He wept. Tai couldn't stand hearing him any longer, Matt never cried in front of anyone, and now this? "Matt, I ..." "No, Tai, I'm not done."  
  
A brief silence passed where all Tai could hear was Matt's breathing strained because he was forcing himself not to cry. "I let myself get deeper, I fell deeper for her... while she fell for you Tai. Everyday she loved you more and more... I hurt my two best friends. I hurt you by thinking I had her, and I hurt her by loving her... I did it again didn't I?! I let everyone down again! It is all my fault, I couldn't see her like that... so fake... she was so fake... she loves you Tai...and all along I knew it, but couldn't live with it... the only girl I've ever loved... loved someone else... her heart was too wild, too free... and I couldn't have it... but you Tai... you already have her heart Tai. She in all ways belongs to you.... So please I know you'd never hurt her, just take care of her, I know you will, god I know you will..." then he hung up. "Matt!!" Tai called but it was too late.  
  
Sora had loved him all along? 'why didn't she tell me? Or better yet why didn't I tell her, I could have, but I didn't. its all our faults.' He thought as he heard the front door open and his sister greet Sora.   
  
  
  
  
'She's here already?' Tai asked himself as he heard his door being knocked on. "Come in." Tai said as Sora entered his room. "Hi Tai. I... I'm sorry... for what I've done to you." She said sadly as he put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't be sorry. I could have told you sooner, I could have... in a way you see... its all of our faults." He smiled sadly. "Yes, but I just denied you and I just killed him, why... no... I know why... but its not good enough.." she said nearly in tears. "Sora, all I wanted was to love you. I always thought that one day I would tell you, but I never thought you'd love someone... I always told myself that you'd always be there, when I knew you really wouldn't. No one can not love you Sora... you're too perfect... and that's why its my fault too. You just never thought..." he trailed as he held her now more closely. "I know... that's why I'm so sorry, but I just couldn't deal with the fact that I loved you, I thought you wouldn't love me... but I should have known.  
  
He held her closer to him if it were possible, as he whispered lovingly into her ear. "It's all forgiven now... Sora I love you." She smiled as she felt his lips touch her ear when he spoke. She pulled away slightly to look into his warm brown eyes. "I love you too Taichi." She whispered as she inched closer to him, before their lips finally met for the first time. It was after this kiss that they knew they'd never be apart.  
  
  
  
  
  
(Epilogue type thing ^.^ )  
  
Hand in hand, Taichi and Sora walked down the street. He spoke softly to her making her giggle out loud and cuddle up to him as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. They passed many people as the laughed and joked together. They were ordering some ice cream for their stroll in the park, Sora couldn't help but notice Matt sitting alone at a table.  
  
His drink was still full, though it looked like he had been sitting there for hours. Suddenly he looked in her direction and saw her smiling. For the first time, he knew this was a real smile, it was because she was happy. Even though she tried to hide it from him, he still knew and he smiled back simply because she was happy.  
  
As Sora and Tai were leaving she looked at Matt through the window as they began to walk away. He was staring at nothing as Sora noticed that Jun had invited herself to sit with Matt. She was babbling on and on in her annoying loud voice that could almost be heard through the glass window, but Matt just stared at the table with a slight smile across his face.  
  
'If she's happy... that's all that matters.' He thought as he continued to block out the Motomiya girl's voice.  
  
Tai and Sora kept walking  
  
END!!!!!!!!  
  
Well, there. This will be one of my last fics, I'm not happy with how they turn out so this is gonna be the last one for a little while I guess.  
I was just a little mad and a little sad about that whole Sorato thing that's gonna happen so I just wanted to write this. I'm a firm believer in Taiora, as far as I'm concerned that's a great coupling and it shouldn't end this way!! However I'm also a HUGE Matt fan, and though some people might think he's some big jerk, I wanted to show him as someone who IS capable of loving, and a good friend type person. I think he would feel bad that he lost Sora, but only cause he loved her, not cause of Tai. Okay that's it for a while. If you liked this, the REVIEW it, I'd like to know what you think of my attempts at this 'sport' called writing.   
  
If you have any couple requests, that you want a fic of email me at: lil_sora_angel@hotmail.com   
sorry I don't do yaoi, or hentai, I'm not good enough to do that kind of stuff yet... anyways review this and I'll worship you that is all  



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